Raindrops and Puzzles

[squirmelia]

She tries to recultivate wonder in her life, imagining she's a teenager in a Francesca Lia Block story, imagining her life only consists of the moments that she chooses to write about. Although sometimes she thinks she should be more open, should tell everyone everything, at the moment this is a way to survive; at the moment, this might stop her from sleeping all day and pretending she is still jet-lagged.

She watched Pan's Labyrinth and it made her feel sad, but it made her realise that if she is to find the magic again, the anomalies, then it will be something she does alone. Perhaps it always was.

So, yesterday, she walked through the rain with a frog-shaped umbrella over her head, listening to the raindrops.

Yesterday, she found a "Jesus vs Santa" flyer in her pocket.

Yesterday was a training day and she was told that there are people that are like elves, that there are people who suffer from Pixieism, and although there is often some element of cocktail-party syndrome, not being able to assemble jigsaw puzzles seems somehow tragic.

After that, she ate stollen and made a party hat from a serviette and a post-it note.

Comments

[aellia.livejournal.com]

Have I told you how much I like your writing style. Because I do.
Have a good day
x

[squirmelia.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[laslandes.livejournal.com]

'recultivate wonder...' is such a nice expression. I don't know though, even if you feel empty at the moment, I've always thought you seem to have a stronger sense of wonder than most adults I know...

[squirmelia.livejournal.com]

Sometimes a sense of wonder is just a crutch though, because the other reality, the one without anything wondrous, often seems more real.

[turnedoffneon.livejournal.com]

imagining her life only consists of the moments that she chooses to write about. Although sometimes she thinks she should be more open, should tell everyone everything,

i know it's silly but i romanticise things and believe in keeping secrets. life is too short, but i can't help it.

[squirmelia.livejournal.com]

I guess I wonder if I keep the wrong things secret.

[nja.livejournal.com]

I knew a young woman with Williams syndrome a few years ago. The Wikipedia article doesn't mention their complete lack of any sense of number. She had to take a calculator with her everywhere, because she couldn't add up - in a pub once she had a fiver, wanted garlic bread costing £2 and a drink costing 80p, and had to put the numbers in the calculator to find out how much it would cost and whether the fiver would cover it.

She was extremely emotionally open, too much so - I think the first time I met her I'd gone to pick her up in a minibus and five minutes later she was telling me all the ins and outs of being emotionally abused by her mother, how that had made her feel, and how she felt about all the other people at the social club I was taking her to.

[squirmelia.livejournal.com]

Having to take a calculator with you everywhere sounds frustrating, as does the being too emotionally open. :(