squirmelia | Monster Supplies (Reply)

I stroked an invisible cat in Hoxton on Saturday at the Monster Supply Store. I read the noticeboard, full of adverts for secret lairs and so on. I examined the goods on offer -tins of mortal terror, escalating panic, a vague sense of unease. Jars of vilest bile, flayed skin, fresh farts, virgin's hair. The sign on the door said they were licensed to sell malodorous gases, children's ears, gore, fear (tinned only), pencils.

Among other things, I purchased a badge saying "Fictional Character". I am now wearing that badge and somehow it makes me feel more like a fictional character. If I'm not sure what to do, I think to myself, "what would a fictional character do?" Perhaps, next time I will purchase a "Plot Device" badge or even a "Main Protagonist" one and see how I feel when I wear it.